Fathers' Daughters
by KuryakinGirl
Summary: It's Father's Day but Alex finds herself at a different door at the apartment complex.


Disclaimer—Characters belong to Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak. No copyright infringement intended. Any similarity to events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Author's Notes—Dedicated to fathers everywhere, especially mine. Many thanks to Raevon and Baschashe for taking a peek for me. ;)

Spoilers—End of Season 3

Fathers' Daughters—It's Father's Day but Alex finds herself at a different door at the apartment complex.

* * *

She lingered in the courtyard by the fountain. She knew what she had to do but ultimately she couldn't bring herself to do it. She tried to talk herself into it, assuring herself that it would be all right, that he wouldn't bite. But things were so different now. This was a holiday she'd never had a reason to celebrate before and she just couldn't bring herself to jump in, head first. Not yet.

Instead of knocking on his door, she turned and knocked on hers.

Ellie was surprised to see the younger girl on her doorstep. "Alex?"

The twenty-year-old college student looked up at her nervously. "Hey, Ellie..."

"I thought..." She glanced further into the courtyard, fully expecting to see Alex's father with her, but it was otherwise empty.

"I'm not sure I can do this," Alex admitted.

Ellie gave the girl a gentle smile before welcoming her inside. She didn't stop in the living room, taking Alex straight to her kitchen.

Alex could only watch as Ellie selected a tumbler, filled it with ice before adding a soda.

"The fizz helps settle stomachs," Ellie said quietly, rather doctorly.

Gratefully, Alex took the glass and took her first sip.

"What's wrong?"

"I know that he's a good guy. I mean, y'know... _patron_ John. I know that he's not a crazy kidnapper..." She let out a very anxious giggle at that, remembering well being _carried_ out of the restaurant where she worked, when he'd tossed her over his shoulder. "It's just _dad _John I'm not sure about."

Ellie leaned against the counter. "John is... considerate and polite. He's strong and smart."

"I know," Alex insisted. "But, he's my... my dad? And I can't even... I never would've thought..." She sighed, frustrated she couldn't get her mouth to work in conjunction with her thoughts any better than that. "I mean, he was dead. Y'know? That's... That's a hard thing to shift away from, from having no dad to having one."

Ellie chose her next words carefully. She wanted to tell the girl that it wasn't easy, going from having one to not, either. But, she didn't. This wasn't about Ellie. This was about Alex and her relationship with her father. That had been why Ellie had ventured to the restaurant on her own earlier in the week, to suggest the meal in the first place. "It's... It's like a lot of creatures in nature. Most times, they're just as nervous of you as you are of them. And John is no exception." She could tell Alex wasn't so sure. "He's human," Ellie insisted. "All dads are. They don't have super powers. They don't have magic toolboxes that make everything instantly all right, no matter how much they-and we-wish they did. They have a tendency to mess things up more than fix them. But, I think... I think I finally figured out why."

"Why?" Alex asked, desperate for the wisdom.

"Because, they don't want to hurt us."

"That's... That's kind of what I mean. I mean, I don't want to hurt him either, but I don't know _how_ to have a father. Does that make sense? I mean, I hit him... Right before he said who he was, who he was to me..."

"You aren't the only one who's hit him recently," Ellie said.

The girl blinked. "Come again?"

"I did, too."

"But... I mean, why? I thought you just said..."

"Because I thought, for a very stupid reason, that he wasn't the sweet man I _knew_ him to be. I had a moment of doubt," Ellie said, taking a slow breath, "which I regret."

Alex took another sip of her soda.

"He's a good man, Alex. As a father, maybe not the best, but his heart is in the right place. And I'm sure he'll get better. He'll figure it out."

"He's missed so much of my life. I've missed so much of his," she said. "That's a pretty big gap to try to bridge..."

"But, he's your father."

"At this point, though, he's just the guy who always gets the black, bitter coffee and the apple pie."

"Don't you see, though? He was trying."

"Trying to do what?"

"He was trying to have a relationship. He was trying to figure out what to do himself."

Alex didn't look convinced.

"When he found out he had a daughter, he didn't ignore you, did he? He didn't forget all about you as soon as he realized you even existed."

"Well... no..."

"He started trying to lay the foundation to have some kind of a relationship with you. He wasn't pushy, he didn't come right out and say it. He's... He's a spy, Alex. I guess that's how they do things. They're sneaky. It's hard to stop being sneaky when they've been that way for so long." It also made sense, Ellie realized, why they all thought the best way to protect her was to lie to her. That's just how spies must operate.

"I just..." Alex sighed. "I know he cares about me. I know he thinks about me. I know that, when he thought he was dying, I guess, or, he wouldn't come back, that he wanted me to have... Ellie, he left me a lot of money. A lot of money I don't know what to do with. It's sitting in a bank right now just... sitting there. I don't know if I need to return it or..."

"Consider it... back child support. Consider it... your father paying for your tuition. Normal dads do that all the time." While she didn't have that 'normal' father aspect to know from personal experience, she knew that Woody had paid for Devon's schooling. At least, what the football scholarship hadn't covered.

"It could probably pay for about three, four degrees from much more expensive schools. And then some," Alex said, looking up at Ellie.

"Has he asked you for it back?"

She shook her head.

"If you want to figure out for sure, you could always talk about it at lunch."

Alex rolled her eyes. "There's a good ice breaker. 'Happy Father's Day, Dad, and, by the way, the cool zillions you gave me, do you want those back?'"

"It's a start."

The younger woman inhaled slowly.

Ellie's voice was quiet, gentle: "Like everything else, it's just going to take some time."

"We've missed so much..."

"Then, don't miss any more," said Ellie simply.

Alex nodded. "Lunch. On Father's Day. With my Dad." She downed another big gulp of her soda.

Ellie made a mental note to treat the girl to a real drink at her next birthday. She was probably going to need two. No, three. "Everything will be fine," she assured her.

Alex exhaled. "Thanks, Ellie."

"Anytime." Ellie smiled and accepted the cup as Alex handed it back to her. "Good luck."

"I think I'm going to need it," Alex said, but she finally smiled.

Ellie set the glass in the sink before seeing Alex out. While she had every intention of heading back to the kitchen and cleaning the dish, she didn't. She lingered in the living room, peeking through the curtains towards the apartment on the other side of the courtyard.

She watched as Alex took a deep breath, as she hesitated only for a second before knocking, and as Casey opened the door.

She wanted, desperately, to take back her last decision to _spy_ when he glanced over at _her_, when she realized there was nothing she could do to prevent his seeing her. She waved slightly.

But, he did something that surprised her. He didn't seem to acknowledge her action more than a slight upturned corner of his mouth. His attentions were solely focused on his daughter. As they should've been.

As, Ellie realized, her father's actions had been. While he might not have gone about things the way she would've wanted him to, he had tried his best to keep her safe, to love her the best way he knew how.

"Thanks, Dad," she murmured quietly, finally moving away from the curtains.

* * *

End.


End file.
